The little child in the woods

a little house in the countryside. I visited them almost every weekend.

I can still hear

the morning

the birds singing

the steps of my grandfather

in the silence of the dawn

I can still smell

the wood

the fragrance of coffee

I can still feel

the warmth coming from the stove

the warmth in our bed.

My little brother and I slept on two benches, put together. We laid over a thick blanket.

It was the mattress - and that's all.

Simple

Few Little

Lightness

Happiness-

That was me. That was my essence. When I was a child, I used to observe everything in silence.

I used to be alone for several hours and I enjoyed it.

In second grade, my teacher thought that something was wrong with me, because I didn't speak or participate in class as much as she considered appropriate or acceptable. So she suggested to my parents that they take me to the doctor for an assessment. I felt really bad.

I grew up with this belief. Something was broken in me. Something was wrong.

As a result, I always tried to fit in with the world. I took a new path.

I tried to speak more

(even if I didn´t have something intelligent or interesting to say)

I persisted in having a lot of people around me,

in order to be sociable and nice

(even if I wanted with all my heart to spend some time alone)

I did my best to be accepted

to be cool

to be as normal and

intelligent as the others.

I made a lot of friends

(even when I didn't like these people and I never wanted them as part of my life)

I went away from nature,

the silence,

the mornings,

the days in the little house

I went away from myself

And so

I forgot myself -

Recently, I've realised that this wasn't my path - perhaps somebody else´s. I've remembered. Suddenly, a new path has appeared. I've remembered who I am.

I could recognise

what happened to me

I could see

that I've been lost in the world

I was aware

of my loneliness

(yes, even in the world, surrounded by people)

I was far away

from home

And one day

I decided to go back

to the woods

I changed my path again

And I met

the little child -

the one who

knows everything

the one who doesn't

know about

right or wrong

good or bad

normal or abnormal

the one who understands

everything

She said to me:

“Be silent, be quiet. Observe what the world has to show, listen to what the world has to say. You know how to do this. It's within you. It´s your nature. Just speak when you have something to say.”

And this story is what I had to tell. I became the little child in the woods. I was never again apart, because I hold the world in me. Yes, my teacher of second grade as well. Yes, my none-friends as well. Yes, the wrong path as well. 

Be the little child in the woods. You will never again be apart, because you hold the world in yourself. Yes, the wrong path is your path. I will be waiting for you to say: “Here I am, welcome home”. 

Dezember 2021 -